Today is my 37th birthday. I'm sitting in my home office writing this, having taken the day off work. I had originally intended to go to the DIA today, but somewhere between my bout of self-pity and realizing I had less than $20 in my checking account I decided that may not be the best idea. Who knows? I may make it down there yet this weekend, but so far my only plans for this weekend are having a late lunch today with my Dad at Red Coat Tavern (I'm in the mood for a burger and where else do you go for a good burger?) and at some point on Sunday I'm seeing my mom. Meagan will probably be at both as well, but who knows?
Speaking of birthdays, it's also my 100th post!
I did have a few days of self pity this week though, not going to lie. Birthdays for me have never been about getting old. Most days I feel pretty damn good about the way I'm aging. Rather my issues with age involve milestones I have yet to achieve. Buying a house (condo in my case; I despise yard work), being in a relationship, somehow having children.... In an ironic twist of fate I woke up this morning after dreaming about Dipshit and I getting back together and his entire family, whom I miss terribly, being present. And then when I hit shuffle on iTunes, the first song to come up was the only song of Lucy Woodward's I despise, "Babies."
Chalking it up as coincidence or cruel tricks played by my subconscious. Because Dipshit and I are never happening again based on one pure and simple fact: he's an asshole.
But I came out of my mopey, self-pity filled whine and cheese party of one yesterday afternoon and decided to take a pro-active approach to not being a failure. So I'm creating a list of all the things I want to accomplish before I hit 40. Which, like it or not, is right around the corner. If any of you would like to participate in these milestones I've created or help me with them, please, by all means, join me along the road! And expect to read about my progress here on Mo Livin' Large.
- Get serious about losing weight. My 20th reunion is next year which is a great motivator, but it's more about my health. Getting my blood pressure and cholesterol in check, seeing if I can't alleviate some of my PCOS symptoms and let's face it, looking great. I'm starting a low-carb, high protein diet tomorrow (because seriously, what's the point of starting today when I'm going to Red Coat?). I'm also trying to figure out if I want to incorporate Weight Watchers somehow. We'll see. Unfortunately I'm not independently wealthy.
- Embrace my spirituality. I'm starting by reading Sera Beak's The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach To Igniting Your Divine Spark. I also have quite a collection of Joel Osteen, Sarah Ban Breathnach, and Sark books I'm going to tackle.
- Write more. My short term goal for Mo Livin' Large is to post 2x a week, moving on to 3 or more times a week.
- Speaking of writing, I'd like to finish some of the stories I've started. None of them will be worthy of publishing I'm sure, but just to finish. So I'm going to work on finishing 5 stories within the next 3 years.
- I'm not holding myself to accomplish this one before I reach 40 but it's definitely a goal: get published. And not self-published.
- Buy a DSLR camera (low end of course which is still about $500 - $700) and learn how to use it.
- Take more pictures of myself. I hate being in pictures because I always feel like a fat cow. But it's a concrete way of creating memories and Mike's death brought home the fact I don't have a lot of those.
- Explore Detroit, both the good and bad. I've been taking Woodward to work a lot lately and driving by these really fabulous neighborhoods like Palmer Park and the historic Boston-Edison neighborhood. I want to drive through them, take pictures, and wonder what stories these buildings could tell.
- Get back into paper crafting. I think I'm going to make my short term (read as weekend) goal to bring all of my crafting supplies home. And that's a pretty big ordeal.
- Make a success out of my two small side businesses, Monet Cards and Pure Romance. (P.S.-- you're going to like the November Giveaway, I guarantee it).
- Learn about wine. I'm tackling this project by reading Leslie Sbrocco's book Wine For Women AND GUGS is having a wine tasting night next month.
- Embrace my sensual and sexual side. This one I'm starting with baby steps. I'm reading Carolyn Cox's How to Be Adored: A Girl's Guide To Hollywood Glamour. But not to worry; my self-help library table (I'll post a pic next week) is full of books to help me.
- Look better. I've really let my skin care regime slip, and I didn't blow dry my hair more than 5 times this summer. And I don't wear half the clothes in my closet because they need to be ironed. And I don't actually mind ironing. I need to "pull myself together" as my mom says, no matter how much I weigh (267.8 pounds just for the record).
- Visit my friend Sally in Ireland. 'Nuff said. 'Cuz it's Sally. And Ireland. Together.
- Start living the life I want.
The list is a work in progress. But it's off to a good start, don't you think?