"I am afraid of showing you who I really am...

... because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it - and that's all I got." Sabrina Ward Harrison

I have been dreading writing blog posts lately for the simple fact that I've been hurting lately. Despite all my reasoning and good logical sense (which I admit to lacking from time to time), I'm still pining for Anthony. And the next guy that came along, Mike, shredded what little dating self-esteem I had left.

Mike and I had met last January (2010) on a dating website. On paper, he was perfect for me. Huge fan of Sinatra, the Rat Pack, classic movies, and Band of Brothers. Inclined to dress up rather than down. Attractive. Seemed to have his life in order. In fact, aside from the fact that he likes karaoke, the only thing I wasn't enamored with was his age. Mike is eight years younger than I am.

We went out last January. Went to a bar, had a few drinks, he drove me home, we made out (EXCELLENT kisser), and then he got a phone call. In the middle of our make-out session. And he answered it. Furthermore, he went outside to answer it. I could hear the fact that it was a woman on the phone, but other than that.... When Mike returned, he explained it was the police department and a work truck that had been stolen had been recovered. But he had to go pick it up immediately or else it'd be impounded.

Um, okay?

Oh, important fact. I didn't have Mike's number. We spoke exclusively on Yahoo instant messenger.

So a few days after the date, I got an instant message from Mike asking if I'd like to go to dinner. He proposed a date and time, and I countered that I couldn't do that night as I had previous plans. Mike said he'd check his work schedule and get back to me. And that was the last I heard from Mike...

... until the week before Memorial Day 2011.  It was a bit odd, actually, as I had just mentioned him in a conversation I was having with my friends Dorothy and Shirley hours earlier. But I came back from lunch, opened my email (which has a built-in Instant Messenger), and there he was, asking who I was. I explained, and we began chatting. For a week. Eventually, on Tuesday, we met up for coffee at Starbucks. Things went well. We both had new jobs; Mike works for a local district court, I work for a law firm. We discussed The Pacific and other Band of Brothers related nonsense. Families, cooking, etc. It was all discussed. Including a follow up date for Saturday.

And by the way, we were once again conversing exclusively through FB chat and Instant Messenger because Mike had a new cell phone, didn't have his new number memorized, and couldn't have his phone inside the court at work.

On Friday, Mike had a financial transaction occur that prevented him from going out.

We rescheduled for the following weekend as our schedules conflicted during the week. And on Saturday, Mike ended up sicker than a dog and had to cancel.

We rescheduled for Thursday. We continued chatting on FB chat and instant messenger throughout the week. Mike told me repeatedly how much he was looking forward to finally being able to see me. We both mentioned how much we were looking forward to saying good night (he really was an excellent kisser).  We spoke Thursday morning before I left the office for a work-sponsored baseball outing and before he had to run into court for work. We agreed to iron out the date details through instant messenger while I was at the game (gotta love Androids).

And I haven't heard from him since. I sent FB messages, instant messages, left stuff on his wall for six days, and nothing.

Having been around the block a few times, I can usually gauge when a guy is going to do a runner. Mike was good because I TOTALLY didn't see this one coming. In fact, I was so concerned that something horrible happened, I called the court where he works. Guess what? No Mike H. works there.

Moral of the story: if a guy doesn't give you his number and communicates exclusively through internet chat services, he's hiding something.

So I've once again resumed my dating hiatus. Unless Jonathan Rhys Meyers or Collin Farrell call of course. Or more realistically, Anthony. But yeah, no active pursuit of dating and mating will be made from my end for awhile.

Guess I'll have to find new topics to write about.