"I realize that I'm black, but I like to be viewed as a person...

... and this is everybody's wish" ~ Michael Jordan

I've been having a lot of blonde moments as of late, but this one takes the cake. Even if it happened more than ten years ago.

Michael Jordan's home in Chicago had pink marble in it. Very, very pale pink marble, but pink all the same. How do I know this you ask? Very simple. My ex husband, affectionately referred to as Dipshit, installed his kitchen appliances. Well, the dishwasher and ovens (yes, multiple) at least.

Keeping this in mind....

Dipshit's company Christmas party in 2000 was held at Gibson's Steak House in Chicago. Quick review of the steakhouse: FABULOUS! But anyways.... The dinner was held in one of the restaurant's private dining rooms, which is on the second floor, as are the bathrooms. Two small stairways, one leading to the dining rooms and another leading to the bathrooms, branched off of a small landing at the top of the stairs. This is important to know as....

Yours truly at one point excused herself to make use of the facilities. I did what I needed to do, tipped the bathroom attendant, and went out to rejoin the party.

Instead, I came face to face with a very tall black man wearing a white track suit.

I say face to face and very tall because I was standing on a landing three stairs above the landing the tall black man was standing on.

"Whoa, you're a tall one, aren't you?" I said smiling. He'd startled me but only because of his height.

The man smiled in return. "I suppose I am. But I get that a lot."

"Well, at your height, you're kind of asking for it, aren't you?" I laughed.

The man genuinely laughed. "Well, there's that I guess. And are you enjoying your evening?" he asked.

"I am." I explained that I was attending the Miele (ME-lah) Christmas party and that it was lovely.

"Miele?" the gentleman asked. "The German appliance company?"

"Oh, you're familiar with their products!" I exclaimed.

"I am. I have their oven, confection oven, and dishwasher and a vacuum cleaner or two."

"Or two? Those are a thousand dollars a pop and you've got two? Oh, I'm very jealous." The man smiled. "Well, I'm distracting you from your original intention I know, and I should get back to the party," I said.

"It was very nice chatting with you," the tall, bald black man said.

"Likewise. Enjoy your evening and Merry Christmas!" I responded.

"Why thank you!" he said. He seemed pleasantly surprised at my farewell. We moved to opposite sides of the small staircase and he went up as I went down.

Back in the dining room, Dipshit inquired as to the length of my bathroom visit. "Oh, I wasn't in there all that time. I just was conversing with the bathroom attendant for a minute and then a nice black guy I met on the stairs. He's even taller than you!"

"What did you talk about?" Dipshit asked.

"Believe it or not, Miele!" I told him.

At that moment, the tall, bald black man wearing a white track suit poked his head into our dining room.

"I have it on good authority that this is the Miele Christmas party. I just wanted to say thank you for your superior products, but in addition, thank you for your professionalism and discretion whenever you've been in my home. Juanita and I both thank you. Merry Christmas!" He added a wave and a smile in my direction.

"Is that the black guy you were talking to in the hall?" Dipshit asked me, incredulous.

"Yeah, why?"

"You do realize you just carried on a conversation about appliances with Michael Jordan, right?"

Not. A. DAMN. Clue.